How to sort your fucking life out.

Stack your habits and watch everything fall into place

How to sort your fucking life out.

Stack your habits and watch everything fall into place
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Have you ever tried to change a habit? It’s 10pm. You swear tomorrow morning instead of scrolling on your phone that you’ll magically leap out of bed, strap into your running shoes and smash out an “easy” sunrise 5k. Your friends on Strava are going to be so impressed. Then, just like clockwork, once that alarm goes off, you reach for your phone, habitually open TikTok and lose half your morning. Yeah, same. This doesn’t make you weak, or lazy, or undisciplined; trying to change existing habits or even, heaven forbid, trying to make new ones stick, is literally one of the hardest things for our brains to do.

The neuronic connections in our brains are the strongest for the behaviours that we already practice. There’s this phenomenon that happens as we age called “synaptic pruning”. If you remember from year 8 Biology class, synapses are the connections between the neurons in your brain. The basic idea is that your brain prunes away the  connections in your brain that don’t you don’t use very often, and instead focuses its energy on strengthening the connections between the ones that you do.

For example, if you decide to play the didgeridoo every day for 10 years, firstly, I respect that decision. Secondly, your brain will strengthen the connections between those musical neurons. The more your play, the stronger those connections will become. In fact, every time you practice, the faster, stronger and more efficient these neuronic connections become. This is why we say ‘practice makes perfect’; the more you do something, the more efficient your brain becomes at helping you perform that task. This isn’t groundbreaking, we all know this. What is interesting is that whilst your brain has been preoccupied with all that didgeridoo playing, all the other neurons in your brain that aren’t didgeridoo-related prune up.

All this talk of pruning isn’t intended to make you feel shitty for not exercising all those neurons in your noggin (everyone has brain prunes don’t stress about it babe). Instead, i’m gonna teach you how to harness the strong connections you already have to build up habits, rather than trying to force your pruned-up brain to build them all on its own. Wanna find our how? Of course you do. I’ve read Atomic Habits by James Clear. I know how to hack your brain. Read on.

Q: What the actual fuck is habit stacking?

A: Habit stacking is a technique of ‘implementation intention’ developed by BJ Fogg as part of his ‘Tiny Habits Program’.

The central idea is that when it comes to building new habits, you can use the connectedness of behaviour to your advantage. Or, put more simply, you can build new habits by identifying a current habit that you already do every day, and then stack your new behaviour on top. This way, the desirable practice that you want to implement into your life becomes an unconscious standard behaviour, purely because you perform it whilst doing something you don’t even have to think about doing...cos you already do it all the damn time.

Think of it like hacking your brain, but like...in a good way?

Q: Im sold. How can I start doing this?

A: Habit stacking is easy as fuck. All you’ve got to do is follow this simple formula:

Here are some examples:

- AFTER I take off my work shoes, I WILL change into my workout clothes.

- DURING my commute into work, I WILL read one chapter of my book.

- BEFORE I take my first sip of coffee, I WILL meditate for one minute.

- AFTER I write my to-do list for the day, I WILL write down 5 things that I am grateful for.

- AFTER I finish eating dinner, I WILL immediately put my plate into the dishwasher.

Q: How can I take it further?

A: The reason that habit stacking works so well is that your current behaviours are already solidified in your brain. By linking these new practices to your strong habits, you can start to build a cycle that is based upon healthy habits...that won’t take a lot of mental energy or effort to actually execute.

Once you have mastered the first few basics of your desired habit stacks, you can begin to form larger stacks by chaining lots of these smaller habits together. This allows you to piggyback off the natural momentum that comes from one solidified behaviour leading into the next.

For example:

Now instead of just necking your coffee and jumping into your day’s to-do list, you’ve managed to weave in meditation, journalling and mindfulness into your morning routine... without forcing your brain to do it.

Q: Does this only work for specific routines/ habits?

A: No, not necessarily. You can use habit stacking to help create a simple set of rules to help guide your future behaviour. Once you have established habit routines in your brain that you are happy with, you can apply the formula to a number of different situations in your life. Think of it like a game plan that you know is always gonna make you win.

Here are some examples:

- When I see a set of stairs, I will take them instead of the elevator.

- When I see a new item I want in a fast-fashion store, I will find something similar on a second-hand site.

- When I serve myself a meal, I will take three deep breaths before eating.

- When I eat, I will put the fork down in between bites to stay in touch with my hunger and fullness queues.

- When I buy a new item, I will give something away/ sell it (“one out, one in”).

- When I walk into a party, I will introduce myself to anybody I don’t know.

No matter how you use this strategy, the secret to creating a successful habit is selecting the right cue to kick things off. Unlike abstract intention, habit stacking has the time and location already in-built. This means that you don’t have to use and mental energy, motivation or even discipline to force yourself to perform the habit you want to implement. It’s fool-proof.

My top-tip is: be specific and clear! If you’re too vague with your cue or your habit, then you build in the space for uncertainty. And, like all uncertainty, this is gonna give your brain too much work to do, and so leaves you at risk of not forming unconscious habits. Habits like “eat better” or “do exercise”, although well-intentioned aren’t specific enough to implement efficiently. Instead try something like “I will eat a serving of veggies with every meal” or “I will go for a 5k run when I finish work".

Similarly, saying “I will do a 45 minute pilates video in the morning”, isn’t specific enough either. You have to link your desired practice to a clear, established habit. Instead, try something like “after I brush my teeth, I will put a 45 minute pilates video on”. This way, pilates and brushing your teeth become linked, so you can’t do one without thinking about the other. And ✨voila✨ you’re now a bona-fide pilates princess.

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